Missing My Syd

After almost three weeks of begging to go stay with my mom and Ron down at the lake and not being able to go...Sydney departed yesterday for a 3 night/4 day mini vacation at Lake Hartwell with her grandparents. We were all just so afraid that the 'unknown' problems with her stomach would get bad and she'd be hours away from her doctors and her dad and I. Eric and I, nor my mom and Ron, we're ballsy enough to take that chance.

So as i packed her bags yesterday at lunch, I thought to myself just how quiet things would be around here. Sure she's gone off for overnight visits, even a weekend a time or two, but 4 days seems so much like forever to me. There's one thing i kept telling myself though, that she's growing up, and that there will eventually come a day where she will be a grown woman with a life of her own and no need to run to me for kisses and hugs every time she skins a knee or stumps her toe. Yes, she's only five and still a child, but i can not wrap my brain around the fact that these last five years have gone by us so fast.

I've been noticing a lot of changes in her lately...she's speaking so eloquently, a far reach from the slight lisp that she's carried her entire life. Just maturity in general is occurring right before my eyes. She has hair on her legs...and is asking so many questions about 'grown-up life'. She tells me she likes my hot pink VS bra and my panties and she has her own little boy shorts underwear. You can believe Eric nearly shit himself when my grandma and i brought those home. I guess its inevitable that she is growing up...and will continue to do so until she has a life of her own, so to speak.

And then there's Gracie. So angry and vocal all the time. So full of her own opinions, just like me. But at the same time, so cute and sweet, and innocent most of the time. I cant believe her first birthday will be in about 3 weeks. She's starting to talk a lot also, i mean really talk. She says duck, nana, mama, dada, bye bye, gone gone, hey, no no and bite bite, among other things.

I swear, these children are my reason for waking up every day. If they'd never come into my life i can not imagine where i would be. And while life is hard and presents new challenges every day, i suppose this is the nature of the beast. And at the end of the day, its all worth it to have them. I'd go through it all again, day after day...if only to feel the love they have for me just once. So as i reflect on this mother's day that's approaching, I'm thankful for my kids and their love, their health, their own personalities, all of it.... They are my everything, my every day, my all.

To any who also have children, I'd say to treasure every moment with them. You never know when god will decide that your world needs a little (or a lot of) shaking up. He can rearrange your life at the drop of a dime, as mine was for the last few weeks, or worse. Squeeze your children just a bit stronger this mother's day and know that they've made you exactly who and what you are. You're a mom, a cook, a maid, a pharmacist, a therapist, a taxi driver, a maid...I could go on and on, and these are some of the most honorable jobs out there. Enjoy it and Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there.