Lets just say that things have more than improved for me. I'm feeling better-much better. I made the decision to stop taking my birth control pills, which in my opinion, were causing the severe highs and lows in mood, and making me a total emotional wreck about 75% of the time. So i tossed them, after months of thinking about it and talking about it..i just did it. I am a good week into no bcp's and I'm a much happier person, more laid back, and definitely more energetic with my girls, which is so nice right now. We are in no way TTC or even willing to chance an accident right now (well, Eric isn't), but i have to respect his choices as my husband and also that our finances are simply not in order for a third...nor our home or mental capacities with more than the two we have. I'd love more children, but i just don't see how I'd be a 'fit' mother with more right now. Simple as that...
So not too much has been happening in our lives really. We still never go anywhere much or do anything except play house all the time and try to keep our heads above water, literally...lol. Our rental house is finally fixed. All the plumbing issues that seemed would never end have finally come to a close after 2 months of constant calls saying somethings broken. We have gone a full two weeks without a call from the tenant and boy does that feel good. So that's a load off big time.
Eric's store was burglarized this Saturday night/Sunday morning. I'd love to get my hands on the creeps who thought I'd be okay if they just came in and did what ever they pleased with the place. I will not elaborate too much on the actual facts of the case for the fact that the piece of shit who did it are still running around spending money that is not rightfully theirs (and more). Hopefully the boys in blue will handle this one properly, but in this town, the magic 8-ball says, "No Way. Try Again Later." Can you tell how much faith I have in them...again though, another vocal spewage all together.
Oh and i am now a designer in training (DIT) on pure pixels.com. Everyone should go check it out and request some graphics/siggies. I'm loving it there and wanted to post the website. All the girls there are marvelous...!
WWW.PUREPIXELS.PROBOARDS76.COM
Grace is growing quickly as well in the time that's passed since my last posting. She's getting her 4th tooth these days-finally some progress. it only took 14 months to get that far. She's really battling the teething lately and i know it will only get worse before better. She is also talking a lot more lately. She is lovingly calling Sydney "Ne-Ne" and loves to discipline the animals, telling them "bad, bad," and swatting her hand like she's gonna spank them at the same time. Also, she's been doing this thing for a while where she just starts spouting off commands (and probably some insults) where its just total gibberish. Like she's trying to speak a whole paragraph in some foreign language. I think its maybe in Korean or something cause its so fast i cant even catch one phrase of what she's getting at most times. Its totally hilarious for sure...
Keep watch for my next post. It should be a goody...get your Kleenex out girls, I'm sure gonna need mine...there should be lots of sentimental mumbo jumbo and such included as I'm sitting here contemplating the next few days of my life. It will entail Sydney...everything Sydney, my tribute to my first born daughter who tugs my heartstrings each time she smiles at me...and manages to create mayhem everywhere she goes. I love that kid more than words can say. She stirs a frenzy of emotion in me just thinking about posting on all things SYD.
So for now, this is where it ends...i will be back after i ponder things just a bit more and lay out everything i do, and have ever felt for that kid... my next blog will be BYOB (as in, bring your own box of Kleenex). I will not be responsible for runny mascara or extreme emotional love for your own children that may develop as a result, I swear.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Not enough hours in a day...
I cant seem to find the time to update my blogs anymore...my apoligies.
I just wanted to say quickly that i havent stopped blogging, just have had a lot of things on my plate. I am feeling sort of down these last few days... my kiddo is sick, my money is short, my patience are even shorter, my other kiddo is acting like a madman (or woman, as it applies here), and i'm so sick and tired of the daily grind...the list goes on and on. I'm so bored with 'things' lately. It seems like i just do the same things day in and day out, which i guess is all the same for most. Normally, i'm okay with the everyday, but today i feel different for some reason.
I look to how i could change things...but when i toil over such things i ususally only end up feeling worse about the situation. I feel so powerless in the big scheme of things. I guess my life is what i've made it, but in all the happiness i've found with my husband and my kids, I still find that empty spot in 'me' and have no idea how i am to fill or close it.
My design work is a lot of what's bogging me down too, i think. I love doing it...but i'm slow right now and when i do get new work i feel so discouraged when starting anything. Sort of straddling the fence in between burnt out and bored with lack of exciting things to do. I originally started this venture in the hopes of being able to stay at home with the kids and do design at night or while they are napping, but i guess the reality of it is what really gets me. There is no realisitic way i would ever be comfortable quitting my job to do this. These last few weeks have been total proof of the fact that the volume of my work is unpredictable. And i've noticed that the more people i know learn what exactly what it is i do, that they start to do their own invites, etc and then there's no need for what i do. Basically i feel kinda like it wasnt that well thought out and i should have kept at just doing it for fun and not trying to profit from my skills. Maybe then i'd atleast still enjoy what i do...I'm considering taking a break and taking down my myspace page...but i havent decided yet.
In efforts to try and renew my spirit, i've applied myself as a designer in training at a signature site that some girls i know run. That too has been totally discouraging. I've gotten no responses as to whether they would like my help (heck, it is volunteer work) or whether they'd rather me go f-off, nothing. Atleast a person deserves a response.
I guess maybe i dont have what it takes to be a designer in general...when it relates to my company or to other things. I'm just so over that inadequate feeling in every area of my life.
I just wanted to say quickly that i havent stopped blogging, just have had a lot of things on my plate. I am feeling sort of down these last few days... my kiddo is sick, my money is short, my patience are even shorter, my other kiddo is acting like a madman (or woman, as it applies here), and i'm so sick and tired of the daily grind...the list goes on and on. I'm so bored with 'things' lately. It seems like i just do the same things day in and day out, which i guess is all the same for most. Normally, i'm okay with the everyday, but today i feel different for some reason.
I look to how i could change things...but when i toil over such things i ususally only end up feeling worse about the situation. I feel so powerless in the big scheme of things. I guess my life is what i've made it, but in all the happiness i've found with my husband and my kids, I still find that empty spot in 'me' and have no idea how i am to fill or close it.
My design work is a lot of what's bogging me down too, i think. I love doing it...but i'm slow right now and when i do get new work i feel so discouraged when starting anything. Sort of straddling the fence in between burnt out and bored with lack of exciting things to do. I originally started this venture in the hopes of being able to stay at home with the kids and do design at night or while they are napping, but i guess the reality of it is what really gets me. There is no realisitic way i would ever be comfortable quitting my job to do this. These last few weeks have been total proof of the fact that the volume of my work is unpredictable. And i've noticed that the more people i know learn what exactly what it is i do, that they start to do their own invites, etc and then there's no need for what i do. Basically i feel kinda like it wasnt that well thought out and i should have kept at just doing it for fun and not trying to profit from my skills. Maybe then i'd atleast still enjoy what i do...I'm considering taking a break and taking down my myspace page...but i havent decided yet.
In efforts to try and renew my spirit, i've applied myself as a designer in training at a signature site that some girls i know run. That too has been totally discouraging. I've gotten no responses as to whether they would like my help (heck, it is volunteer work) or whether they'd rather me go f-off, nothing. Atleast a person deserves a response.
I guess maybe i dont have what it takes to be a designer in general...when it relates to my company or to other things. I'm just so over that inadequate feeling in every area of my life.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Flashback: Gracie's Birthday and Party, May 27 to 6-2
The first thing that comes to mind when i even say the words that encompass the title of this blog entry: "Whew, Glad that's Over..." Among other things... Here's her one year montage i made and showed at the party too...
Her birthday itself was a fairly laid back day around the house with us all. We had Robby & Ashley come over and gave her a little cake to celebrate the day! She made quite the mess!
Plus, her papaw got to come home for a few days and see her since he'd not been here for her actual birthday and would miss her party too. We cooked out over there when he got home to celebrate the success of his first run on the road as a trucker... Funny, that's a word i'd never have associated with my dad...but he's doing it and well...for the most part. Grace was really fun out there that day, we got on the tire swing together and she loved it!
Then came the party...a world wind of mess to say the least. I'll spare you all the details, but agian, i'm glad its over.
So it was a good time. Hard to believe that she's this old already. My girls are growing up, so fast. I still cant quite understand how it happens...but it does. And i feel old....
Also, Kristy and I saw the Starfest Concert. Really, we saw Daughtry and didnt pay much attention to the rest of it. He is as sexy as always and put on a great show. We had fun, to say the least. I would post pics of that too, but the pics didnt come out too good in such a big arena.
Her birthday itself was a fairly laid back day around the house with us all. We had Robby & Ashley come over and gave her a little cake to celebrate the day! She made quite the mess!
Plus, her papaw got to come home for a few days and see her since he'd not been here for her actual birthday and would miss her party too. We cooked out over there when he got home to celebrate the success of his first run on the road as a trucker... Funny, that's a word i'd never have associated with my dad...but he's doing it and well...for the most part. Grace was really fun out there that day, we got on the tire swing together and she loved it!
Then came the party...a world wind of mess to say the least. I'll spare you all the details, but agian, i'm glad its over.
So it was a good time. Hard to believe that she's this old already. My girls are growing up, so fast. I still cant quite understand how it happens...but it does. And i feel old....
Also, Kristy and I saw the Starfest Concert. Really, we saw Daughtry and didnt pay much attention to the rest of it. He is as sexy as always and put on a great show. We had fun, to say the least. I would post pics of that too, but the pics didnt come out too good in such a big arena.
Flashback: May 24th - May 26th
Yep, Eric is another year oldner now in the time that's passed since my last post... His birthday was May 24th, which if i remember correctly was a Thursday. I had made plans for a day out for he and I that saturday, however, complete with a baby sitter (yay!), a trip to Atlanta to Turner Field and two tickets to sit inside the lexus level and watch the game. Its only been about 3 weeks since then, yet i still can not remember which team it was we even saw them play...but anyhow, the braves lost.
Eric's mother watched the kiddos and we took in the game alone. We had a great time, which happend to include a few margaritas for me and some crown royal for him...although it was really too hot that day to enjoy them. When we got home the kiddos followed shortly behind... and much to our surprise, so did 6 kittens :0 .
Apparently, the 'outside kitties' that we sorta adopted a few years back (sisters, they were orphans) have both had a litter of kitties a few prior. Well, when we got home from the ball game we heard some weird whining noise and searched everywhere until we found a baby kitten under our lawn mower. It was stuck under there. We brought it in and slowly over the evening we've had 6 kittens (obviously from two different litters, we can tell by size and development levels) drug up onto our front porch and left by the kitties. We had to bottle feed them every 4 hours for the next 3 weeks...all i needed was more babies to feed, for real...
5 of 6, the sixth one didnt show up until a few days later
We brought the mama in, and clearly she's not interested in feeding them...
Introducing them to the girls the next morning, which was also grace's first birthday!
They were truly adorable-All tabby cats (striped) one orange and white, five black and brownish/grey striped. They each weighed less than a pound. I surely didnt want any of them to die, but they really werent drinking enough at first. I had them on a hot water bottle thing and some old baby towels in a smaller plastic tote and they snuggled peacefully each night.
We decided to keep the orange one; Eric fell in love with it immediately! From the first minute that next monday rolled around, I began trying to find an animal resuce organization to take them or help us find people who could. If there were none available we'd decided we'd have to take them to the shelter (which i do not want to do after losing our 6 wk old puppy we'd raised since birth a while back). The last thing i wanted to do was take them to an overwhelmed humane society shelter who didnt have the staff or will to feed them around the clock. I knew they'd more than likely die there. So at least there was a plan of action of some sort in place....
Tuesday rolled around (it was memorial day weekend) and i immediately started searching for groups to take them off our hands. Unfortunately most of my emails went either unanswered or came back with the same sort of replies. They all read about like this..."Sadly we are unable to take in more kittens at this time. There is an over grown cat population at this time of the year and we are at capacity in both our shelters and our foster homes. We are truly sorry, but are very thankful that you are doing all that you can to give the animals a fair chance at life." Many offered free spaying for them though, which was nice.
So after coming up basically empty handed, we turned to family and friends to help bare the load of sleep deprivation and exhaustion that i was feeling after a while. Luckily we have great people in our lives who stepped in and took some of them. Robby and ashley took two of them...two of the ones out of the 'funny' litter. They couldnt walk real well, sort of in circles. It would get better then they'd get worse...we were always afraid they'd die... Those three kitties had something wrong with them. I dont know if they were ill, or what...but we lovingly referred to them as the "Short Bus Kitties." Eric's sister Holli took the other one out of that litter back to her cousin in NC. Sadly all three of those kitties have since died. The rescue group i spoke with told me that they were likely infected with feline AIDS or FIV...since they were from outside kitties. That is apparently pretty common. Up to 50% of cats in the US have it.
Shelly and Angel took two, to keep as barn cats...right....but after having nursed them for a while they've still not let them go outside. They probably never will, hehe. We kept the one we found under our mower and he's thriving well in my living room right now. He's a lot of fun...and he's sydney's baby. She thinks she's his mama. LOL. I will be having him spayed in a few more weeks for free by the rescue group, whcich is nice. His name is "Lucky Punkin Schwebel," because Eric said he was lucky to get to stay with us...typical man comment. Syd picked out punkin...cause he's the orange one. He's now eating canned food and today we started mixing in some hard food in it too, since his teeth are mostly in by now.
Since all this happend, we've found out that there were stray litters of kittens all over our subdivision, at least four that we know of right now. There was one horny little boy cat running around here...all of the kittens are about the same age and spread out in the woods, neighbors' back yards, storm drains... they are literally everywhere. Our friends down the street own and build racecars and they found one stuck up into the motor of one the other day. They have since kept him too... ;P He and his litter are white with orange and black spots... We had another three kittens start hanging out with Dingo in the back yard, all three black with white sox. This week we've managed to catch all three of them. Two we've managed to get rid of already, one still hanging out in the crate in the garage. He will most likely have to go to the shelter tomorrow morning...sadly. But we're doing all we can here. Syd and i will be going out tomorrow evening to search for more and set the traps that our neighborh brought us. I found out the other day that our next door neighbor works at rescue group, so she's helping us out with all this now. That's nice to have.
I'm still not sure why i've developed such a heart for these animals since Rock died. I'm soft i guess...but someone has to do it, right.....?
Eric's mother watched the kiddos and we took in the game alone. We had a great time, which happend to include a few margaritas for me and some crown royal for him...although it was really too hot that day to enjoy them. When we got home the kiddos followed shortly behind... and much to our surprise, so did 6 kittens :0 .
Apparently, the 'outside kitties' that we sorta adopted a few years back (sisters, they were orphans) have both had a litter of kitties a few prior. Well, when we got home from the ball game we heard some weird whining noise and searched everywhere until we found a baby kitten under our lawn mower. It was stuck under there. We brought it in and slowly over the evening we've had 6 kittens (obviously from two different litters, we can tell by size and development levels) drug up onto our front porch and left by the kitties. We had to bottle feed them every 4 hours for the next 3 weeks...all i needed was more babies to feed, for real...
5 of 6, the sixth one didnt show up until a few days later
We brought the mama in, and clearly she's not interested in feeding them...
Introducing them to the girls the next morning, which was also grace's first birthday!
They were truly adorable-All tabby cats (striped) one orange and white, five black and brownish/grey striped. They each weighed less than a pound. I surely didnt want any of them to die, but they really werent drinking enough at first. I had them on a hot water bottle thing and some old baby towels in a smaller plastic tote and they snuggled peacefully each night.
We decided to keep the orange one; Eric fell in love with it immediately! From the first minute that next monday rolled around, I began trying to find an animal resuce organization to take them or help us find people who could. If there were none available we'd decided we'd have to take them to the shelter (which i do not want to do after losing our 6 wk old puppy we'd raised since birth a while back). The last thing i wanted to do was take them to an overwhelmed humane society shelter who didnt have the staff or will to feed them around the clock. I knew they'd more than likely die there. So at least there was a plan of action of some sort in place....
Tuesday rolled around (it was memorial day weekend) and i immediately started searching for groups to take them off our hands. Unfortunately most of my emails went either unanswered or came back with the same sort of replies. They all read about like this..."Sadly we are unable to take in more kittens at this time. There is an over grown cat population at this time of the year and we are at capacity in both our shelters and our foster homes. We are truly sorry, but are very thankful that you are doing all that you can to give the animals a fair chance at life." Many offered free spaying for them though, which was nice.
So after coming up basically empty handed, we turned to family and friends to help bare the load of sleep deprivation and exhaustion that i was feeling after a while. Luckily we have great people in our lives who stepped in and took some of them. Robby and ashley took two of them...two of the ones out of the 'funny' litter. They couldnt walk real well, sort of in circles. It would get better then they'd get worse...we were always afraid they'd die... Those three kitties had something wrong with them. I dont know if they were ill, or what...but we lovingly referred to them as the "Short Bus Kitties." Eric's sister Holli took the other one out of that litter back to her cousin in NC. Sadly all three of those kitties have since died. The rescue group i spoke with told me that they were likely infected with feline AIDS or FIV...since they were from outside kitties. That is apparently pretty common. Up to 50% of cats in the US have it.
Shelly and Angel took two, to keep as barn cats...right....but after having nursed them for a while they've still not let them go outside. They probably never will, hehe. We kept the one we found under our mower and he's thriving well in my living room right now. He's a lot of fun...and he's sydney's baby. She thinks she's his mama. LOL. I will be having him spayed in a few more weeks for free by the rescue group, whcich is nice. His name is "Lucky Punkin Schwebel," because Eric said he was lucky to get to stay with us...typical man comment. Syd picked out punkin...cause he's the orange one. He's now eating canned food and today we started mixing in some hard food in it too, since his teeth are mostly in by now.
Since all this happend, we've found out that there were stray litters of kittens all over our subdivision, at least four that we know of right now. There was one horny little boy cat running around here...all of the kittens are about the same age and spread out in the woods, neighbors' back yards, storm drains... they are literally everywhere. Our friends down the street own and build racecars and they found one stuck up into the motor of one the other day. They have since kept him too... ;P He and his litter are white with orange and black spots... We had another three kittens start hanging out with Dingo in the back yard, all three black with white sox. This week we've managed to catch all three of them. Two we've managed to get rid of already, one still hanging out in the crate in the garage. He will most likely have to go to the shelter tomorrow morning...sadly. But we're doing all we can here. Syd and i will be going out tomorrow evening to search for more and set the traps that our neighborh brought us. I found out the other day that our next door neighbor works at rescue group, so she's helping us out with all this now. That's nice to have.
I'm still not sure why i've developed such a heart for these animals since Rock died. I'm soft i guess...but someone has to do it, right.....?
Its been a teency bit too long, eh?
So...my last ramblings were from the mother's day weekend, about 5 weeks ago.
Shame on me, shame on me, shame on me!
I think the last month has been one of the busiest of my adult life...and while looking back on it all now, i can not even remember what most of these uber important things were. I guess that's my mommy brain functioning.
Just from those i can remember, here is a small list of the things that have happend between now and then...
*We nursed and adopted out all 8 cats
(and have still continually played cat napper and)
caught and sheltered a three more this week from other litters
*Grace turned 1 and had a big party
*My dad came home from the road for the first time...after 9 weeks away
*Sydney has learned to ride her bike without training wheels
*Eric & I were both sick with the stomach bug for a bit
*And then i got caught up in the story of Kaleb Schwade. If you dont know who he is, stay tuned, my one of my next blogs will contain his story and info about him and his family. Long story short, Kaleb is battling Shaken Baby Syndrome, and the whole world is praying that he'll win.
My job has also become more increasingly hectic lately...i find that i have little to no time to update my blogs or post on bbc or myspace at all anymore there. We've really gotten busy. Then you add on the stuff i'm doing with my design company, Creative Expressions, and you talk about being a crazy woman....i've totally lost control of my life it seems, hehe.
On a happier note, happy dad's day to all those out there! We had a great father's day. Eric loved the things we got him. He got a nice polo and shorts and a 'dad' tee. Plus a card from each of us, so he was happy. I also cooked him his favorite meal of cubed steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, rolls and pasta. So...whew, looking back...i think i'm tired. I've done a lot today.
Shame on me, shame on me, shame on me!
I think the last month has been one of the busiest of my adult life...and while looking back on it all now, i can not even remember what most of these uber important things were. I guess that's my mommy brain functioning.
Just from those i can remember, here is a small list of the things that have happend between now and then...
*We nursed and adopted out all 8 cats
(and have still continually played cat napper and)
caught and sheltered a three more this week from other litters
*Grace turned 1 and had a big party
*My dad came home from the road for the first time...after 9 weeks away
*Sydney has learned to ride her bike without training wheels
*Eric & I were both sick with the stomach bug for a bit
*And then i got caught up in the story of Kaleb Schwade. If you dont know who he is, stay tuned, my one of my next blogs will contain his story and info about him and his family. Long story short, Kaleb is battling Shaken Baby Syndrome, and the whole world is praying that he'll win.
My job has also become more increasingly hectic lately...i find that i have little to no time to update my blogs or post on bbc or myspace at all anymore there. We've really gotten busy. Then you add on the stuff i'm doing with my design company, Creative Expressions, and you talk about being a crazy woman....i've totally lost control of my life it seems, hehe.
On a happier note, happy dad's day to all those out there! We had a great father's day. Eric loved the things we got him. He got a nice polo and shorts and a 'dad' tee. Plus a card from each of us, so he was happy. I also cooked him his favorite meal of cubed steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, rolls and pasta. So...whew, looking back...i think i'm tired. I've done a lot today.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Missing My Syd
After almost three weeks of begging to go stay with my mom and Ron down at the lake and not being able to go...Sydney departed yesterday for a 3 night/4 day mini vacation at Lake Hartwell with her grandparents. We were all just so afraid that the 'unknown' problems with her stomach would get bad and she'd be hours away from her doctors and her dad and I. Eric and I, nor my mom and Ron, we're ballsy enough to take that chance.
So as i packed her bags yesterday at lunch, I thought to myself just how quiet things would be around here. Sure she's gone off for overnight visits, even a weekend a time or two, but 4 days seems so much like forever to me. There's one thing i kept telling myself though, that she's growing up, and that there will eventually come a day where she will be a grown woman with a life of her own and no need to run to me for kisses and hugs every time she skins a knee or stumps her toe. Yes, she's only five and still a child, but i can not wrap my brain around the fact that these last five years have gone by us so fast.
I've been noticing a lot of changes in her lately...she's speaking so eloquently, a far reach from the slight lisp that she's carried her entire life. Just maturity in general is occurring right before my eyes. She has hair on her legs...and is asking so many questions about 'grown-up life'. She tells me she likes my hot pink VS bra and my panties and she has her own little boy shorts underwear. You can believe Eric nearly shit himself when my grandma and i brought those home. I guess its inevitable that she is growing up...and will continue to do so until she has a life of her own, so to speak.
And then there's Gracie. So angry and vocal all the time. So full of her own opinions, just like me. But at the same time, so cute and sweet, and innocent most of the time. I cant believe her first birthday will be in about 3 weeks. She's starting to talk a lot also, i mean really talk. She says duck, nana, mama, dada, bye bye, gone gone, hey, no no and bite bite, among other things.
I swear, these children are my reason for waking up every day. If they'd never come into my life i can not imagine where i would be. And while life is hard and presents new challenges every day, i suppose this is the nature of the beast. And at the end of the day, its all worth it to have them. I'd go through it all again, day after day...if only to feel the love they have for me just once. So as i reflect on this mother's day that's approaching, I'm thankful for my kids and their love, their health, their own personalities, all of it.... They are my everything, my every day, my all.
To any who also have children, I'd say to treasure every moment with them. You never know when god will decide that your world needs a little (or a lot of) shaking up. He can rearrange your life at the drop of a dime, as mine was for the last few weeks, or worse. Squeeze your children just a bit stronger this mother's day and know that they've made you exactly who and what you are. You're a mom, a cook, a maid, a pharmacist, a therapist, a taxi driver, a maid...I could go on and on, and these are some of the most honorable jobs out there. Enjoy it and Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there.
So as i packed her bags yesterday at lunch, I thought to myself just how quiet things would be around here. Sure she's gone off for overnight visits, even a weekend a time or two, but 4 days seems so much like forever to me. There's one thing i kept telling myself though, that she's growing up, and that there will eventually come a day where she will be a grown woman with a life of her own and no need to run to me for kisses and hugs every time she skins a knee or stumps her toe. Yes, she's only five and still a child, but i can not wrap my brain around the fact that these last five years have gone by us so fast.
I've been noticing a lot of changes in her lately...she's speaking so eloquently, a far reach from the slight lisp that she's carried her entire life. Just maturity in general is occurring right before my eyes. She has hair on her legs...and is asking so many questions about 'grown-up life'. She tells me she likes my hot pink VS bra and my panties and she has her own little boy shorts underwear. You can believe Eric nearly shit himself when my grandma and i brought those home. I guess its inevitable that she is growing up...and will continue to do so until she has a life of her own, so to speak.
And then there's Gracie. So angry and vocal all the time. So full of her own opinions, just like me. But at the same time, so cute and sweet, and innocent most of the time. I cant believe her first birthday will be in about 3 weeks. She's starting to talk a lot also, i mean really talk. She says duck, nana, mama, dada, bye bye, gone gone, hey, no no and bite bite, among other things.
I swear, these children are my reason for waking up every day. If they'd never come into my life i can not imagine where i would be. And while life is hard and presents new challenges every day, i suppose this is the nature of the beast. And at the end of the day, its all worth it to have them. I'd go through it all again, day after day...if only to feel the love they have for me just once. So as i reflect on this mother's day that's approaching, I'm thankful for my kids and their love, their health, their own personalities, all of it.... They are my everything, my every day, my all.
To any who also have children, I'd say to treasure every moment with them. You never know when god will decide that your world needs a little (or a lot of) shaking up. He can rearrange your life at the drop of a dime, as mine was for the last few weeks, or worse. Squeeze your children just a bit stronger this mother's day and know that they've made you exactly who and what you are. You're a mom, a cook, a maid, a pharmacist, a therapist, a taxi driver, a maid...I could go on and on, and these are some of the most honorable jobs out there. Enjoy it and Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there.
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Normal Daze...AGAIN!
So life is slowly going back to normal around our house, for the most part anyway...
We got Sydney's CT results back on Tuesday afternoon. What a relief to hear the doctor's voice saying that they had found nothing in the area of her tummy where she had previously felt the lump in the right side of her tummy. Firstly, to our father in heaven: I feel deep down that you put your hands on my daughter and healed what ever was paining her. I thank you for that. There were so many people from here to each other coast praying for her; I know that you answer prayer, and i thank you for that. So the doctor is putting her on a stool softener laxative powder just to ensure that she's not lapsing backing into the chronic constipation of her infancy, but other than that all appears well...thanks again, to everyone. You all have made me feel that your support can move mountains. Its so much weight off my shoulders, that's for sure.
In other areas of my life things seem to be looking up as well. I'm back to work on my design stuff now that i have all this pressure off me. I've already done quite a few things this week and i'm on track with the planning for gracie's birthday party. I finally re-designed her invitation and it exceeded my every aspiration. Its absolutely adorable. The style of it has already been picked up by a few of my customers, which makes my excitement about it so much more. I've also got the guest list (...almost...) complete. I'm just waiting on a few more addresses to roll in and i should have them in the mail by the weekend. I cant wait to see what everyone says about them at the party. June 2nd here we come.
I had some pictures made of her on sunday, in hopes of using them on her invitation. Me & Nana went to sears only to be told to come back at 5:30, which was three and a half hours later...are you kidding? So while i havent had any pictures taken at walmart since sydney was an infant (and hated them), we went there in the hopes of getting lucky and getting some good shots. Turns out, they werent terrible. Check her out, she's getting so BIG!!
So i buy the copyright usage and a picture cd from them and when i go to have them printed with the black bkgrd. #1 picture my printer calls and says they cant print my invites without a written release-which i dont have and will take 60 days to get. Grrrrrrrrrrrr great.. so i took the kids to the 'duck park' and took some there in the same dress. It came out great.
Okay, well not that much of an interesting blog, but that's it for now.
We got Sydney's CT results back on Tuesday afternoon. What a relief to hear the doctor's voice saying that they had found nothing in the area of her tummy where she had previously felt the lump in the right side of her tummy. Firstly, to our father in heaven: I feel deep down that you put your hands on my daughter and healed what ever was paining her. I thank you for that. There were so many people from here to each other coast praying for her; I know that you answer prayer, and i thank you for that. So the doctor is putting her on a stool softener laxative powder just to ensure that she's not lapsing backing into the chronic constipation of her infancy, but other than that all appears well...thanks again, to everyone. You all have made me feel that your support can move mountains. Its so much weight off my shoulders, that's for sure.
In other areas of my life things seem to be looking up as well. I'm back to work on my design stuff now that i have all this pressure off me. I've already done quite a few things this week and i'm on track with the planning for gracie's birthday party. I finally re-designed her invitation and it exceeded my every aspiration. Its absolutely adorable. The style of it has already been picked up by a few of my customers, which makes my excitement about it so much more. I've also got the guest list (...almost...) complete. I'm just waiting on a few more addresses to roll in and i should have them in the mail by the weekend. I cant wait to see what everyone says about them at the party. June 2nd here we come.
I had some pictures made of her on sunday, in hopes of using them on her invitation. Me & Nana went to sears only to be told to come back at 5:30, which was three and a half hours later...are you kidding? So while i havent had any pictures taken at walmart since sydney was an infant (and hated them), we went there in the hopes of getting lucky and getting some good shots. Turns out, they werent terrible. Check her out, she's getting so BIG!!
So i buy the copyright usage and a picture cd from them and when i go to have them printed with the black bkgrd. #1 picture my printer calls and says they cant print my invites without a written release-which i dont have and will take 60 days to get. Grrrrrrrrrrrr great.. so i took the kids to the 'duck park' and took some there in the same dress. It came out great.
Okay, well not that much of an interesting blog, but that's it for now.
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Finally Something Happy to Show
In all the chaos of Sydney's medical problems I've not had the time to post the details of our soccer team party. I must say that it turned out so much better than i could have ever expected. Everyone had a blast, me included, which was much needed since the party was the day after we had the initial doctors appointment for Sydney's tummy issues.
We had the party at the Jumpzone in Loganville. All five of the kids got to come and they had quite a time on the inflatables, that's for sure. We got an hour playtime and an hour in the party room, which was decorated and painted with awesome murals of a jungle. We had pizza, chips, donut holes, fresh fruit, juice, cake & ice cream.
Here are some of our pictures:
Me with all the kiddos on the titanic slide
Edward Hanging Out
Syd & Annalee finding some trouble to get into
All i can say i OUCH...i still have burns on my tummy
from Annalee convincing me to go down with her
on my tummy!
Syd
Syd picking at her food and Annalee actually eating
The boys eating, Jacob, Blake, Edward (L to R)
MY CREW! Aren't they all so cute?
Me & the kiddos after they all got their
trophies & goody bags! Time to go home :(
I'm gonna miss these kids-each of them for different reasons. Annalee for the way she loved me all the time-there were days when I'd have to peel the little sweetie off my legs to go home after games, Edward for his constant willingness to give his best, Blake for always running right to the goal to be the 'goalie that we weren't allowed to have, lol, and Jacob for that big smile and those blue eyes. Not to mention the fun resulting from Jacob & Blake's mischief when they are together. They are a total hoot! You can tell those boys are the best of friend and will be for life.
I'm registering Syd for soccer again on may 5th and signing up to coach, but i let the league director know that if our medical issues turned out to be a big deal and Syd wasn't healthy enough to play that i would definitely not be coaching...season doesn't start till august though, so i hope we can do it again!
We had the party at the Jumpzone in Loganville. All five of the kids got to come and they had quite a time on the inflatables, that's for sure. We got an hour playtime and an hour in the party room, which was decorated and painted with awesome murals of a jungle. We had pizza, chips, donut holes, fresh fruit, juice, cake & ice cream.
Here are some of our pictures:
Me with all the kiddos on the titanic slide
Edward Hanging Out
Syd & Annalee finding some trouble to get into
All i can say i OUCH...i still have burns on my tummy
from Annalee convincing me to go down with her
on my tummy!
Syd
Syd picking at her food and Annalee actually eating
The boys eating, Jacob, Blake, Edward (L to R)
MY CREW! Aren't they all so cute?
Me & the kiddos after they all got their
trophies & goody bags! Time to go home :(
I'm gonna miss these kids-each of them for different reasons. Annalee for the way she loved me all the time-there were days when I'd have to peel the little sweetie off my legs to go home after games, Edward for his constant willingness to give his best, Blake for always running right to the goal to be the 'goalie that we weren't allowed to have, lol, and Jacob for that big smile and those blue eyes. Not to mention the fun resulting from Jacob & Blake's mischief when they are together. They are a total hoot! You can tell those boys are the best of friend and will be for life.
I'm registering Syd for soccer again on may 5th and signing up to coach, but i let the league director know that if our medical issues turned out to be a big deal and Syd wasn't healthy enough to play that i would definitely not be coaching...season doesn't start till august though, so i hope we can do it again!
Politics of Insurance
So our newest dose of sour news relates to Sydney's insurance. If you remember, they lapsed her coverage in sept/oct of last year with out notice to us. We were not aware of any of it until she started having these tummy problems and seen the doctor for the first time on April 27th.
After some deep investigation and many hours sitting in the office demanding someone offer me an explanation, this is what happend: They mailed me a lot of forms to fill out. I turned them in and they were never processed. When I got a letter detailing the fact that they didnt have the paperwork, i went to their office to ensure that they did have them because i knew i took them to the office personally in a sealed envelope with the lady's name on them. She did say that she had them, just 'hadn't gotten a chance to process them' and that she'd get it straightened out. Well apparently not...
So i go back up there to get this straightened out yesterday (5/2/07) morning and everythign looked to be in order and she said that she should be able to get her re-activated by yesterday afternoon or today at the latest. I was pumped, who wouldn't be? So i go on to work among my normal day.
When the phone rang at lunch, i was sitting in the drive thru at taco bell famished. This lady has the nerve to tell me that there will be no coverage for this condition... that she's been rejected because this is a 'pre-existing condition'. Well first off it wasnt pre-existing when they cancelled her with out notice was it? Didnt think so...this was their fault, admittedly, but they can not fix it...
So we will go to egleston (and to the earth's ends if we must) paying out of pocket for any and all medical expenses related to this. I can not believe how this insurance thing worked out and while i'm super angry about it, it is what it is. There is no way to fix it and we're gonna deal with it. All i can say is thank god for charity hospitals...(children's is) atleast they wont take our house from us if this turns into a big thing and we cant pay the medical bills...
Star 94 (my fav. station) has a radio-thon every year in september to raise money for the children's healthcare of atlanta hospitals. I've made small donations for the last two years because my best childhood friend has had numerous liver transplants there and they were so wonderful to her and her family. The DJ's always say, "make the donation as insurance...knowing that they will be there to care for your children if, god forbid, they ever have to come here for treatment..." Well... now its happening to us. These hospitals are a very special place and i can imagine i'll be donating to their cause every year from now on regardless of what happens with syd. You should donate also...anyone, everyone...you never know when it could be you in there. We never thought we would be either.
Click here to donate if you so feel the urge.
After some deep investigation and many hours sitting in the office demanding someone offer me an explanation, this is what happend: They mailed me a lot of forms to fill out. I turned them in and they were never processed. When I got a letter detailing the fact that they didnt have the paperwork, i went to their office to ensure that they did have them because i knew i took them to the office personally in a sealed envelope with the lady's name on them. She did say that she had them, just 'hadn't gotten a chance to process them' and that she'd get it straightened out. Well apparently not...
So i go back up there to get this straightened out yesterday (5/2/07) morning and everythign looked to be in order and she said that she should be able to get her re-activated by yesterday afternoon or today at the latest. I was pumped, who wouldn't be? So i go on to work among my normal day.
When the phone rang at lunch, i was sitting in the drive thru at taco bell famished. This lady has the nerve to tell me that there will be no coverage for this condition... that she's been rejected because this is a 'pre-existing condition'. Well first off it wasnt pre-existing when they cancelled her with out notice was it? Didnt think so...this was their fault, admittedly, but they can not fix it...
So we will go to egleston (and to the earth's ends if we must) paying out of pocket for any and all medical expenses related to this. I can not believe how this insurance thing worked out and while i'm super angry about it, it is what it is. There is no way to fix it and we're gonna deal with it. All i can say is thank god for charity hospitals...(children's is) atleast they wont take our house from us if this turns into a big thing and we cant pay the medical bills...
Star 94 (my fav. station) has a radio-thon every year in september to raise money for the children's healthcare of atlanta hospitals. I've made small donations for the last two years because my best childhood friend has had numerous liver transplants there and they were so wonderful to her and her family. The DJ's always say, "make the donation as insurance...knowing that they will be there to care for your children if, god forbid, they ever have to come here for treatment..." Well... now its happening to us. These hospitals are a very special place and i can imagine i'll be donating to their cause every year from now on regardless of what happens with syd. You should donate also...anyone, everyone...you never know when it could be you in there. We never thought we would be either.
Click here to donate if you so feel the urge.
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Medical Update: 5/2/07
While I’ve not had nearly enough time to keep my blog updated this week with all the things that are going on, I have tried to jot down some things as they were happening…for what ever opportunity that I had to post a new blog. Here’s an account of what our week has been like with Sydney’s tummy troubles. And this-of course-is a follow up to my post from last week entitled, "Little Lies" Click here to read that one first.Turns out it wasn’t a lie at all…that is, until she told me it didn’t hurt because my child hates medicine so much that she’d rather be in pain than take it…you must give me a break. I think it is evident from reading this week’s accounts that I’m long overdue for one…
Friday, April 27, 2007
Well...last night Sydney told my mother-in-law, Angie, that her tummy was hurting and begged her not to tell us because she thought she'd get into trouble after she told us otherwise earlier in the week to avoid taking medicine for it. Angie let me in on the situation and when I left work today I called the doctor and asked her if she had time to see (or at least talk with Syd) about her tummy issues. They wanted us to come in and they'd see her.
When we got to the doctor, they told us that Sydney's insurance was inactive and that we had to pay out of pocket for the visit. That was fine, but you know it would have been nice to have been notified that there was none before we got there....perhaps from the insurance company….just a little common courtesy and an explanation of what the heck had happened. But no, that would have been much too easy I suppose.
The pediatrician said she felt some sort of lump in her ovary region of her right side. She said that it could be a number of things, but that most likely it was either a fairly large bowel obstruction, intestinal blockage or an ovarian cyst. What? I had no idea that ovarian cyst problems could be happening at such a young age, but apparently so. I did have my first cyst problem at 11, so I’m not terribly surprised if that is what’s happening. They want her to have a CT-Scan next week to find out exactly what it is. From there they will decide whether it’s something that will/can be treated (possibly with surgery or meds). They are scheduling it first thing Monday morning and calling me with when it will be.
Syd, while not saying she's scared of the CT has been very teary today and I know deep down she's hiding fear of what its going to be like. I did explain to her what it was like and that I could be there with her, no needles, etc, etc, so I think it will be fine once we actually get there to have it done.
The doc's office advised me to get the insurance company on the phone and find out why and when they cancelled her and get it fixed so that we don’t have to pay the ct-scan out of pocket. Well, when I got home and got them on the phone, they told me that she has not had any insurance since June of 2006..again...what? I am shocked as to why I didn’t receive any notice of this...for real. And then they proceed to tell me that it could take as much as 45 days to get her re-instated and I still got no answers regarding why she was cancelled... Someone owes me an explanation that's for sure.
I’m feeling horrible for thinking she was making this up...but that's a whole other story that could take days to really tell.
Monday, April 30, 2007
And the bad news keeps pouring in here. First off I want to say that I’m praying for everyone & their specific situations that are happening right now…. I also have to say that I’m slightly medicated right now so I apologize in advance if I’m rambling (or even totally incoherent) at this point. I took my anxiety meds tonight when the kids went down after an entire day of nervousness and a lot of tears.
As for us, we're still waiting to hear from Children's Healthcare of Atlanta for when we're going in for the CT-Scan. At this point they are also saying that there is a possibility that she may be in overnight or maybe longer depending on how the scan results come out. Pediatrician said this afternoon that they mentioned admitting her for observation for at least one night to see if there are any changes and a second scan to monitor what's happening. She's still having the tummy troubles and they seem to be much more frequent in the occurrences of the pain she's having. We're supposed to be finding out for sure in the morning as to when we'll be going in. I have to say that I’m really terrified by now... And both physically and mentally - I’m exhausted.
I went to the insurance office to find that what happened with Syd's insurance was an error on their part. The real story is that she was cancelled at the end of October 2006 because they didnt input a bunch of paperwork that they'd sent me. I returned it personally to the office before it was due and they never did their job... a bunch of bs...but I’ve refilled the paperwork to get it re-started. It will still be a long process. I have to go back there Wednesday morning (if we're in town at that point) to speak with a case supervisor and hopefully she can fast track us toward where we need to be.....hopefully-but we'll see.
Everything is so up in the air right now. I went out to the cemetery this afternoon after I left the insurance office and sat at my father in law’s grave and just cried and prayed for over an hour before going home. I just couldn’t go home to my girls feeling so broken. I know jerry looks down and protects us from heaven and I really needed an ear that would just let me get my emotions out, if you know what I mean. The stress of all this has been so overwhelming for me.I will be going into work tomorrow morning and I will pass on any info I get regarding when we are headed to Atlanta.
I know that is the best place for kids in the state but I’m so scared this is going to be a big deal and may even require surgery. Plus I have graphic work that I’m ready to call the girl on and tell her due to all this that I just can’t get it done. I'd really hate to do that but my family is on the forefront right now....and I really have to get cracking on the birthday party stuff for grace as her party is June 2nd and I’ve not even gotten together a guest list or decided whether or not I’ll re-do her invite. I still have to order all the deco and stuff too…but enough rambling...
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
9 am-
I have the appt. with the insurance administrator tomorrow morning at 7:30. I'm calling the doc's office at lunch AGAIN if I haven’t heard anything by then...this is getting ridiculous. The scheduling lady keeps telling me that she's waiting for doc to tell her which one of the children's group of hospitals to send us to...but that is insane. They are the same hospital; just a few blocks apart...what difference does it really make..? I'm getting very agitated with them as it's one simple question that needs to be answered and is holding us up big time...a bunch of crap if you ask me....and I’m just about ready to let them know what I think of it.
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
11:30 pm-
Its after 11 and I should be doing the dishes. Things are really piling up around here but I had to sit down a minute and try to get some thoughts out of my head...
We go to Children's Healthcare of Atlanta Friday at 11:30 am for the initial testing/observation. I got the news around lunch today. I'm not working after lunch on Thursday just to rest and relax and try to manage my house some before we go...just in case. They told us to pack for overnight stay just in case it’s something they want to monitor or needs immediate surgery. Eh, what? Hopefully not though...
Please continue your prayers for her; this week has already been stressful enough as is.... I'll let you all know when we get results if I’m not around much before then.
And then I babbled out this to a special friend in an email....I think so many of this understand this thought right now...so I’ll share.
"...You know, a mother always knows that they love their child...but on those days where all feels lost, you always manage to find just one more reason to love your children. And you go on and then tomorrow comes. Really it does...You never realize how lucky you truly are in your life until true devastation and fear sets in...I’m terrified at the whole thing, just the unknown. I'm no good with the unknown...”
Thanks for all your concern. It means a lot...I must get to those darn dishes. Then feeding hour rolls around and suddenly its morning. So now we just wait… More updates to follow when they come.
May 2, 2007
10:00 am
So my meeting with the insurance administrator went well this morning. I actually think that she will have sydney's coverage back up tomorrow if not this afternoon. She apologized numerous times for the mistake and others not doing their jobs and told me she'd call if she needed anything else. Cross your fingers that i dont hear from them. This time, no news is good news...
And one other thought-
Its so funny that those people who are supposed to be your 'best' friends, those you are closest to, who you depend on most in these types of situations for support. From my experience this far, its some of those people who are there for you the least. Certain ones of my girlfriends who havent even picked up the phone to call and see what's happening...they know who they are...and they have really shown me what they are all about. I've received more prayers and words of encouragement & support from other friends-most of whom i dont see or talk to on a regular basis and my babycenter friends. Those people are much appreciated. Maybe i should re-evaluate my relationships with others when i find an extra second.
ta ta for now.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Well...last night Sydney told my mother-in-law, Angie, that her tummy was hurting and begged her not to tell us because she thought she'd get into trouble after she told us otherwise earlier in the week to avoid taking medicine for it. Angie let me in on the situation and when I left work today I called the doctor and asked her if she had time to see (or at least talk with Syd) about her tummy issues. They wanted us to come in and they'd see her.
When we got to the doctor, they told us that Sydney's insurance was inactive and that we had to pay out of pocket for the visit. That was fine, but you know it would have been nice to have been notified that there was none before we got there....perhaps from the insurance company….just a little common courtesy and an explanation of what the heck had happened. But no, that would have been much too easy I suppose.
The pediatrician said she felt some sort of lump in her ovary region of her right side. She said that it could be a number of things, but that most likely it was either a fairly large bowel obstruction, intestinal blockage or an ovarian cyst. What? I had no idea that ovarian cyst problems could be happening at such a young age, but apparently so. I did have my first cyst problem at 11, so I’m not terribly surprised if that is what’s happening. They want her to have a CT-Scan next week to find out exactly what it is. From there they will decide whether it’s something that will/can be treated (possibly with surgery or meds). They are scheduling it first thing Monday morning and calling me with when it will be.
Syd, while not saying she's scared of the CT has been very teary today and I know deep down she's hiding fear of what its going to be like. I did explain to her what it was like and that I could be there with her, no needles, etc, etc, so I think it will be fine once we actually get there to have it done.
The doc's office advised me to get the insurance company on the phone and find out why and when they cancelled her and get it fixed so that we don’t have to pay the ct-scan out of pocket. Well, when I got home and got them on the phone, they told me that she has not had any insurance since June of 2006..again...what? I am shocked as to why I didn’t receive any notice of this...for real. And then they proceed to tell me that it could take as much as 45 days to get her re-instated and I still got no answers regarding why she was cancelled... Someone owes me an explanation that's for sure.
I’m feeling horrible for thinking she was making this up...but that's a whole other story that could take days to really tell.
Monday, April 30, 2007
And the bad news keeps pouring in here. First off I want to say that I’m praying for everyone & their specific situations that are happening right now…. I also have to say that I’m slightly medicated right now so I apologize in advance if I’m rambling (or even totally incoherent) at this point. I took my anxiety meds tonight when the kids went down after an entire day of nervousness and a lot of tears.
As for us, we're still waiting to hear from Children's Healthcare of Atlanta for when we're going in for the CT-Scan. At this point they are also saying that there is a possibility that she may be in overnight or maybe longer depending on how the scan results come out. Pediatrician said this afternoon that they mentioned admitting her for observation for at least one night to see if there are any changes and a second scan to monitor what's happening. She's still having the tummy troubles and they seem to be much more frequent in the occurrences of the pain she's having. We're supposed to be finding out for sure in the morning as to when we'll be going in. I have to say that I’m really terrified by now... And both physically and mentally - I’m exhausted.
I went to the insurance office to find that what happened with Syd's insurance was an error on their part. The real story is that she was cancelled at the end of October 2006 because they didnt input a bunch of paperwork that they'd sent me. I returned it personally to the office before it was due and they never did their job... a bunch of bs...but I’ve refilled the paperwork to get it re-started. It will still be a long process. I have to go back there Wednesday morning (if we're in town at that point) to speak with a case supervisor and hopefully she can fast track us toward where we need to be.....hopefully-but we'll see.
Everything is so up in the air right now. I went out to the cemetery this afternoon after I left the insurance office and sat at my father in law’s grave and just cried and prayed for over an hour before going home. I just couldn’t go home to my girls feeling so broken. I know jerry looks down and protects us from heaven and I really needed an ear that would just let me get my emotions out, if you know what I mean. The stress of all this has been so overwhelming for me.I will be going into work tomorrow morning and I will pass on any info I get regarding when we are headed to Atlanta.
I know that is the best place for kids in the state but I’m so scared this is going to be a big deal and may even require surgery. Plus I have graphic work that I’m ready to call the girl on and tell her due to all this that I just can’t get it done. I'd really hate to do that but my family is on the forefront right now....and I really have to get cracking on the birthday party stuff for grace as her party is June 2nd and I’ve not even gotten together a guest list or decided whether or not I’ll re-do her invite. I still have to order all the deco and stuff too…but enough rambling...
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
9 am-
I have the appt. with the insurance administrator tomorrow morning at 7:30. I'm calling the doc's office at lunch AGAIN if I haven’t heard anything by then...this is getting ridiculous. The scheduling lady keeps telling me that she's waiting for doc to tell her which one of the children's group of hospitals to send us to...but that is insane. They are the same hospital; just a few blocks apart...what difference does it really make..? I'm getting very agitated with them as it's one simple question that needs to be answered and is holding us up big time...a bunch of crap if you ask me....and I’m just about ready to let them know what I think of it.
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
11:30 pm-
Its after 11 and I should be doing the dishes. Things are really piling up around here but I had to sit down a minute and try to get some thoughts out of my head...
We go to Children's Healthcare of Atlanta Friday at 11:30 am for the initial testing/observation. I got the news around lunch today. I'm not working after lunch on Thursday just to rest and relax and try to manage my house some before we go...just in case. They told us to pack for overnight stay just in case it’s something they want to monitor or needs immediate surgery. Eh, what? Hopefully not though...
Please continue your prayers for her; this week has already been stressful enough as is.... I'll let you all know when we get results if I’m not around much before then.
And then I babbled out this to a special friend in an email....I think so many of this understand this thought right now...so I’ll share.
"...You know, a mother always knows that they love their child...but on those days where all feels lost, you always manage to find just one more reason to love your children. And you go on and then tomorrow comes. Really it does...You never realize how lucky you truly are in your life until true devastation and fear sets in...I’m terrified at the whole thing, just the unknown. I'm no good with the unknown...”
Thanks for all your concern. It means a lot...I must get to those darn dishes. Then feeding hour rolls around and suddenly its morning. So now we just wait… More updates to follow when they come.
May 2, 2007
10:00 am
So my meeting with the insurance administrator went well this morning. I actually think that she will have sydney's coverage back up tomorrow if not this afternoon. She apologized numerous times for the mistake and others not doing their jobs and told me she'd call if she needed anything else. Cross your fingers that i dont hear from them. This time, no news is good news...
And one other thought-
Its so funny that those people who are supposed to be your 'best' friends, those you are closest to, who you depend on most in these types of situations for support. From my experience this far, its some of those people who are there for you the least. Certain ones of my girlfriends who havent even picked up the phone to call and see what's happening...they know who they are...and they have really shown me what they are all about. I've received more prayers and words of encouragement & support from other friends-most of whom i dont see or talk to on a regular basis and my babycenter friends. Those people are much appreciated. Maybe i should re-evaluate my relationships with others when i find an extra second.
ta ta for now.
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